Sigh. Warning. There will be some sappiness in this entry.
Today, I had surprise visitors at my school today. They were two boys I used to teach last year when they were in the sixth grade. It was a major surprise. Because if you saw these rugrats that I taught last year, you would never think that they would come with a smile on their face and some sort of Korean vitamin drink in their hand.
Let's flash back a bit. I came to this elementary school in the middle of the school year. How bad can it be? Well, it was pretty bad. Teaching these sixth graders was extremely stressful! I don't know if it's because of ME or my coteacher or the students and their I'm-too-cool-to-be-in-school attitudes, but I dreaded Wednesdays and Thursdays. I would actually do a happy dance when I found out class was cancelled. ME!!! I LOVE LOVE LOOOOOVE TEACHING! I was so ashamed of myself for feeling such feelings. It's just... I was stumped. The kids wouldn't participate. They would half ass all their worksheets. I tried making fun and engaging games and activities, and they all flopped. They just didn't give a damn about learning English. Not all of them felt that way, but if the cool kids in class felt that way, you wouldn't hold a flag saying "I LOVE ENGLISH!"and parade around the class. Thirteen is a rough age. So, I didn't take it to heart. Goodness. It was like pulling teeth to finish their English textbook, but we got there! Overall, the students were good at doing the work that was needed to be done. They were definitely not overachievers.
However, it was different outside of class. The girls were fun to talk to. They always kept me up to date with what was cool (I'm still not into Teen Top... BIG BANG FTW!!!) and they even let me in on gossip. Teehee. They would actually defend me when the boys were mean to me. These boys are GIANTS! Some are taller than me! Some are bigger than me! The boys would always pick on me and call me names. They would gang up on me! Attack me with SNOW! I felt like I was in middle school all over again!!! BUT the girls let me in on their secret. They told me that the boys actually like me and they think I'm perdy! HAHAHA! But still. NOT COOL!
So, why am I surprised that these two boys from my living nightmare came to visit me even though they think I'm perdy? Well, I felt like I failed as a teacher to these kids. I could have done so much more for them, but I just couldn't figure it out. I have girls that I used to teach come and visit me quite a few times since they started middle school, but the girls are nicer and understanding. The boys were like a wall. A BRICK ONE!
But today, today was a good day. One of the students that came was actually one of the boys who yelled at his friends for being punks when they kept trying to throw snow at my face. I could always count on him to answer my questions when their were crickets in the classroom. These sixth graders were a tough crowd. The second kid... MAN. He was one of the tough kids. Didn't know a lick of English. He had one of the worst tempers in the classroom. But I will always remember his super cute alligator pencil bag that he had tied and dragged around like a pet. I would confiscate when he played with it, but it was only because I wanted to play with it. Muahaha!
And to top off the day of wonderfulness was another former student I saw. I turned the corner to walk towards the bus stop and felt a tap on my shoulder. I thought it was a stranger who picked up something I dropped, but it wasn't. It was another boy that I used to teach in one of the four nightmarish classes from last year. Usually, when I run into a former student they pretend like they don't know me. But this one went out of his way and had the courage to tap me on the shoulder and talk to me. Just small talk. Catching up on life. Which is pretty impressive. And when I waved goodbye, he wanted a high five! It was a nice a high five. That really got to me.
I am so thankful for all the amazing experiences I have had so far here in Korea. And I don't know if it's because I feel like it's almost the end to this chapter or maybe it's these girly hormones, but I am so happy today that it has brought me to tears. I have made an impact in these kids' lives. I don't know how big... but some sort of impact that gets these kids coming back to talk to me when they don't have to. And THAT is what I've always wanted... still want... will always want... when I decided to become a teacher. I want to be a teacher that makes a difference in a kid's life. I just didn't know if I could do it. And I think I have. And it feels great.
